Hello and welcome to this space. I’m not entirely sure what this will be, or what it may turn into. But my intention right now is that this be a living journal of sorts. I feel big emotions and I think big thoughts and I wish to share that now, with you, in this space. So, thank you for being here with me.
As I write this, it’s afternoon, and I’m nestled in my favorite cream colored sitting chair, a green blanket over my lap, sipping coffee and warming my body from the two hours I just spent outside in brisk 28° winter weather. And just as it has been for weeks and weeks, my mind is circling around the idea of angle guardians. Perhaps trying to drop the concept down from the ethers into something physical, solid, real.
I’ve been deep in study of these angles in astrology for the past month and I’ve become absolutely fascinated with them. Partly because they represent the foundational structure of a spirit as it incarnates into a physical human body and all that this entails. But also for a much more selfish reason too.
You see, 2020 has ushered me over a threshold that will take me through a series of personal transits with the heaviest of hitters: Saturn and Pluto. Here they are in progression:
Saturn square natal Saturn
Saturn square natal Pluto
Saturn opposite natal Moon
Saturn crossing the Descendant / opposite Ascendant
Pluto square natal Saturn ← I am here
Pluto square natal Pluto
Pluto opposite natal Moon
Saturn trine natal Mars/Sun/North Node
Pluto crossing the Descendant / opposite Ascendant
These transiting Saturn/Pluto cycles will not come to a close until 2025. *deep breath*
I was listening to a channeled meditation from Wendy Kennedy today on my walk, and I was reminded that I chose to come here, to Earth. We all did. And our souls were excited about it. In her channel with the Pleiades, she mentioned that it was as if we had won the golden ticket. This life is so important. The work that we’re doing is so important. And I don’t mean our occupations…I mean our inner work, all of the healing, all of the growing, all of the forgiving, all of the returning to love.
It’s through these big transiting cycles that we have the opportunity to show up in a big way for ourselves with eyes wide open, even through the difficulties and challenges. When we’re aware of our unique cycles (which we can see from our transits, that are a literal map of times of active growth) then we can approach them with consciousness. We can bring awareness into these experiences that we’re having, and that provides us with the most important tool we have in this lifetime - choice.
When we’re blindsided by life, it’s so much harder to move through the experience from a grounded and centered place. That’s why I pay attention to my transits. Because even though I have no idea what experience Saturn or Pluto is going to serve up - I do know that it’s coming. And I know that Saturn is going to ask me to get really real and put in some major time, effort and work. I know that Pluto is going to ask me to strip away any pretense of what I thought I knew before. To surrender and honor the process of transmutation. Which is not pretty by the way…it’s a messy, bloody business, but so worth it. I know that with Pluto, you only get one shot…so you better take it seriously.
During my Saturn squares I moved through a complete crumbling of who I had identified as in the external world. Primarily through my work and service to our community. On top of that, I was diagnosed with a rare form of muscular dystrophy that further complicated the relationship I had with myself. (Shout out to Saturn in the 6th and a literal restriction of daily work & health.)
When Saturn crossed my Descendant (automatically moving into opposition with my Ascendant and Moon) I realized that my rising sign was likely not the 00° Leo I’d always identified with but rather 29.58° Cancer. This was later confirmed. I know this may not seem like a big deal to most, but it instigated a complete reconstruction of who I identified as, internally now as well as externally. Who am I now that I’m not actively engaged in service to the world through my practice AND who am I now that I’m no longer a Leo Rising? Who am I?
These words echoed in my mind for months and months. It was as if the wind had gotten knocked out of my lungs and yet, oddly enough, when I took that first breath as “Cancer Rising with no worldly roles” I felt peace. I felt like I had come back home to a part of myself that I hadn’t known I had left behind somewhere. Hmm. This actually feels sort of wonderful. I may actually like being a Cancer Rising. I may actually like getting to redefine who I am in the world.
I have no idea what these future Pluto transits will bring, but I do know it will be a continuation of these themes. Which somehow feels both thrilling and terrifying simultaneously. I suppose that’s to be expected when you’re dealing with the Lord of the Underworld.
Hmm. An hour of time just evaporated and I didn’t even get around to my thoughts on the angle guardians. I suppose that may just be how it is sometimes. I am a Gemini soul after all.
For another day, my friends.